Rules of Etiquette

Rules of Etiquette for APeX Socials

We want APeX events to be a “safe space” for our members and guests, so we have developed these Rules of Etiquette. We think these guidelines will help everyone feel more comfortable, and we expect all members and guests to follow them.


If you haven’t established an agreement with someone, you need to ask before you touch. No patting of others on their bottoms, etc. unless you have a prior arrangement that says this type of behavior is okay. Even a simple hug may feel threatening to some people. A simple, “May I hug you?” will do. It should be OK with you to hear the word “NO,” without taking it personally. “No” doesn’t mean anything about you, only that the person you’ve just asked either does not feel like being hugged at this time, or perhaps, needs permission to to that. Also, do not touch anyone else’s equipment or belongings without permission.


Most people use first names or pseudonyms in the community. Please address others by the name they are using at the event, even if you know their “real” name. When in doubt, politely ask.


What happens at an event stays at the event. While making public posts or giving a “thank you” in person may be appropriate, describing the interactions of participants at an event, or other specific details of an event, is not appropriate.

If you do talk about an event in public, avoid using details which could identify people. It’s one thing to say, “I saw a hot spanking recently,” but something quite different to say, “Joe was really getting spanked hard at Mary’s house last night.” Speaking generally of activities is permissible, but speaking specifically of participants, locations, and even exact dates can reveal details that others may need to keep private due to employment, family, or simply preference.


If anyone has a complaint about a particular member’s behavior or activity at any APeX event, please report it to the host or hostess, or member of the Board of Directors immediately. Do not wait until the next day, the next week, or the next month to say anything. The safety and well being of ALL our members is important to the entire community.


When we are in a public venue, or when a private venue opens up to the public, it is important to protect the integrity and privacy of the group, so there will be no exhibitionism allowed. Anyone simulating BDSM acts, overt sexual behavior, or outlandish activity which calls attention to our group will be given a warning. If the offensive behavior continues, the person/s in question will be asked to leave. Please DO NOT wear fetish attire to events held in public venues.


Anyone arriving at a function under the influence of drugs or alcohol will be asked to leave. Anyone who becomes noticeably under the influence of alcohol or drugs at an event will be asked to leave. While social drinking is acceptable at some events where alcohol is sold, BDSM and inebriation do not mix at APeX events.


No soliciting for sexual services is allowed.


No penetration, or exchanging of body fluids, or simulation of sex, or adult activity as defined by town zoning laws is allowed at any public event.

Members or guests who violate these rules, or behave in a manner inconsistent with these Guidelines may be asked to leave.

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