The word ritual means a process or action that is done and repeated according to specific procedure. A ritual is a sort of ceremony that is usually formal and follows the same pattern each and every time. Simply, it is something that a person does over and over for a Purpose. They set the mood or build an expectation. They are intended to be the same each time, within normal limits.
In a D/s relationship, these are the beginning training issues to the control that is exchanged between a Dom/me and their submissive. A contract between the couple negotiates the limits and boundaries and should include a list of rituals that the submissive will be required to perform for the Dom/me. These should be clear and straight forward so that the Dom is sure that the submissive understands the expectations and the submissive is aware of the requirements. The submissive is NOT to judge or question these rituals ( unless of course it violates the main rule of SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL) as the Dom/me is the person who’s needs are being addressed and the power exchange is started. Many Dom/me ‘s use these rituals for their pleasure and as a test to see if the submissive is truly offering the gift of submission.
[ Bad^ note: a “submissive” may well offer input at the invocation of a new practice or ritual during the negotiation phase for said behavior. A “slave” may not]
i began my training with simple rituals. i am a medical professional and on certain days of the week, this girl wore no underwear while at work and on the remaining days i was to wear none. i might caution you that this is not a good choice if the submissive needs to wear white scrubs, mine were royal blue. On certain days i was allowed to wear a butt plug to work or during chores ( my favorite) with the thought that my ass belonged to Him. i was also instructed that each day i was to email Sir, explaining how my day was and what was on my mind. This allowed for further discussion later when we were able to speak more. He also gave an assignment for this girl to do for Him, such as looking up information about the lifestyle or writing essays in who this girl was and demons that troubled this girl. These began my everyday ritual. This enabled Sir to understand me better and to offer a guide in my training and meeting my needs.
If i do not perform the ritual, there are consequences. That is another part of rituals. But the expectations are real from the Dom/me to have these done. Personally it is this girls GREAT pleasure to have these rituals. They enable me to stay in focus with my Dom and remain in a submissive role when i am not able to be with my Dom.
Now as my training has advanced so have my rituals. This girl shall list the current ones that she does everyday if possible or when requested of my Dom.
——shaving of the pubic hair (classic submissive ritual) many Doms prefer bare
——meditation for 15 minutes before retiring to bed (always kneeling)
——sleeping in a collar (one made of quick release and large enough for safety)
——always using the Dom and His reference in UPPER case
——always referring to the submissive in lower case and third person
——words of control and meditation: Breath, Focus, Float and Roll
——giving control over not having an orgasm without permission FIRST
——Kneeling at the Doms feet or bed and outside of the bathroom
——waiting at the door for permission to enter first
——not speaking until the Dom/me gives permission
——asking permission to or eat and drink
——foot worship and sexual worship
——waiting in position before play
——counting the number of strokes at the end of play in His name and reciting
“one Sir, thank You Sir may i please have another Sir?” and so forth
——stating when submissive is sexually stimulated eg. ‘i am Your wet slut Sir”
——asking permission for a sexual release
——always carry the Dom/me bag, smokes or business card
——walking behind the Dom/me and to the left
——driving the Dom or preparing the car for travel (air conditioner or heat)
——accepting curfews, bedtimes, diet and exercise
——writing all fantasy’s and limits both hard and soft
——disrobe when entering the house and remain naked until told to dress
——accept dress requirements as the Dom seems fit
——not using furniture when in the house (sitting lower than the Dom/me)
——do not sit until the Dom/me is seated first
——serve the Dom/me food first
——kneel to the Dom/me and confess behavior and accept correction/discipline
——kneeling with the Dom/me drink in palm, kiss edge and present, eyes lowered
——proper positions for training and pleasure
——sleep at the Dom/me feet or foot of bed (with/out pillow and blanket)
——wearing a butt plug for as long as the Dom wishes and think that He is in your ass
——wearing of the collar in the house and during training
——never approach the Dom/me without permission (ask first and granted)
——never speaks first waits for the Dom to acknowledge
——falls to a kneeling position when their Dom/me enters a room
——NEVER leaves the presence of a Dom/me without permission first
These are just a few of the rituals that this girl has or does now perform.
Tips for the Dom: be creative and personalize the rituals to suit Your needs and the submissive’s growth. They will be most honored to do these every time with encouragement and praise. A firm hand will allow the submissive to see the importance of the ritual.
Tips for the submissive: take these very seriously and express your joy in what your Dom/me allows you to have. Discuss possible problems and concerns immediately to the Dom for further discussion on modifications if necessary. Each rituals allows you to bond and grow with your Dom/me. This is about a relationship. Trust and submit all that you have.
Lastly, never stop communicating.