By Jack Peacock
The world around us is one of situational ethics and malleable values. Everything is relative to the moment. The professed standards for today are compromised tomorrow for the sake of expediency. Some people thrive in an environment like that, while others feel as if cast adrift, struggling to stay afloat by clinging to a few straws of consistency. Some of us find those straws in a Master-slave relationship.
An M-s lifestyle is one of absolutes. One’s role in life is precisely defined. Obligations and privileges are spelled out in unambiguous terms. Two people enter into a partnership where one will take the lead, and the other will follow in support. There are no vacations, no time outs, no reversal of positions. Laws and rights are irrelevant; no outside agency dictates how they will live. The structure of their lives together is based on the trust, and faith, each one has in the other.
A Master leads. Not just when it’s easy or fun. There are no breaks because he is tired. There are no open and closing times; it is a 24 hour per day occupation. He answers her questions, every one, every time. She will never hear the words “I don’t care” because he doesn’t have that option. He will have an answer to everything, even if it’s no better than “I have to think about it”. If she has a problem and asks him what to do, it becomes his problem. He does not pick and choose the ways he will be her master; it is all or nothing.
A submissive follows and supports. He is her master because she trusts his judgment. She has a deep abiding faith in his leadership, a faith never shaken by the inevitable mistakes he makes, for she knows he is always motivated out of concern for her. She knows there must come a time in any disagreement when his word will be final. For the sake of harmony and peace in the home, someone must yield, and she will be the one. It is her task to build that place of refuge for the two of them, the island of quiet free from strife. Through her obedience to his ultimate authority, through her love and devotion to the man she calls master, she creates that oasis where he can go to relax and be himself, with her at his side.
He is the rock of stability she depends on. Her security comes from the certainty he will always be there no matter what happens. She sees the love, the desire, the need to own in his eyes, all telling her how important and valuable she is to him. He is her absolute, the one facet of her life that she can count on to be there when she needs him.
And he will be there, for she is the treasure of his life. She gives meaning to everything he does, be it providing for her, guiding her through life’s rocky moments, or just spending intimate moments together. She is the half which completes the whole. Without her he has no purpose, no home, no future. She is his absolute, the one person he can trust to reveal his innermost self, the one he knows he owns, he controls, the one who cannot leave him.
By any definition those in an M-s relationship are extremists. They attempt, and succeed, at what most would consider an impossible undertaking. A timid cautious approach with halfway measures won’t work. Success or failure hinges on the absolutes of keeping commitments, and mindsets, every minute of the day, in every way. Debates about whether she should or should not submit to certain types of orders are counterproductive. Her focus is not on judging the merits of what he asks, but rather how best to accomplish what he seeks. She must use her skills and natural talent to understand his mind, how he thinks, what motivates him when he demands. She looks not only at the letter of his law, but the spirit behind it.
His objective is not to lose sight of her as someone with her own personality and opinions. His job is not to stifle her but encourage her to blossom within the boundaries he draws around her. He doesn’t take away her freedom, he gives her the protected secure space to grow, free of outside distractions. He cherishes the person inside her, using his power to command to draw that inner personality out, to break through the inhibitions and fears that hold her back. He does not use that power in a frivolous manner but with careful consideration. Were he to do otherwise her faith in him would be destroyed, and he would have no one to blame but himself.